Scoldings

Well, it was bound to happen.  After all, you can only get away with so much before the truth comes out and people begin scolding you.

Truth to tell -- I haven't been taking my meds correctly.  I've been trying to wean off too soon.  I'm no martyr, but I feel lost without a gauge to figure out where I am in the recover process.  My doctor won't give me one, so I feel very adrift.

So, my FWB lectures me, my BFF lectures me... it was only a matter of time before the doctor began to scold and lecture me.  They did it oh so nicely, though I could read between the lines that they think they're dealing with a crazy woman.  Ok, that's a little strong.  Frustrated, but not crazy.

So, it turns out that if I were taking the medicines correctly, I wouldn't be experiencing the chest spasms I've been having, and perhaps my left shoulder and neck wouldn't hurt so much.  The chest spasms are not heart related, nor are they breathing related.  I know this for sure.  As a chronic asthmatic, you learn to tell the differences between breathing issues.  As I said to the PA yesterday, and today, I am not experiencing any of the symptoms that would send me running to my pulmonologist for aid - steroids, etc....

No, these are different, although I'm hard pressed to explain exactly how.

Anyway, I had originally called the doctor to report the pain in my shoulder & neck, pain in the incision, and the spasms across my chest and shoulders.  Oddly, the spasms across my shoulders are less painful than the ones across my chest.  We talked about various things, and then..... I had to confess my reluctance to take my medication as directed.  I'm no martyr.  Let me repeat that - I'm not martyr.  I just want to recover, and get my life back.  Basically, what the PA said was, if you don't use the medications the way we told you, you are going to have a longer recovery.  Most people at my stage of recovery are still using Valium 2-3 times per day.  Um.  I took 1 per day.  If that.

Needless to say, I was read the riot act.  I have never in my life been scolded so gently and kindly, but make no mistake - it was a scolding.  And, fear not, I listened.

She decided the incision pain was from me following the direction of my physical therapist, who had suggested I began gently massaging/rubbing the scar to prevent granulation.  This is not a bad thing to do, but given the amount of pain it's causing, I'm to stop for another week or so.  We talked about how hard I'm massaging - I reassured her I was barely touching the scar.  I find myself oddly squeamish about this whole thing.  I don't want to look at it, or touch it, or anything.  I make sure it's kept clean, and the people who have seen it claim it's beautiful, a work of art, that when it completely heals, you'll barely be able to see it.  So, any massaging/rubbing I've done has been extremely tentative.  But, yeah, I can stop that.  You have no idea how relieved I am about that.

The PA yesterday told me to call back today to order more Norco (Vicodin) as it was after 4, and they don't do the refill after 4.  So, I called back today, and ended up talking to the PA who actually sewed me up.  I made sure to pass along all the compliments I've been receiving - after all, I didn't sew myself up!  She did, and if I have a barely visible scar at the end of all this, it will be thanks to her and her skill.

Anyway, todays issue (aside from some more medication issues, for which I was again scolded) was my ability to swallow.  I've been going along, assuming the problem I'm having swallowing is just part of the recovery from the surgery.  After all, they move the esophagus and breathing tube (which I know has a name, and I can't remember just now) about 2 inches to the side to give them room to work on the spine.  so, there's bound to be some issues as everything settles into place after the insult, and some swelling to go down.

My problem is that when I go to swallow, it's almost like my esophagus won't accept the food.  I don't choke, or cough, I just have to swallow hard a couple of times, almost like to kick start it.  Then, when I do eat, it's so much trouble, I just don't eat much.  It doesn't hurt to eat, but I do take in a lot of air, which very naturally results in burping.

I eat a lot of Tums, trying to neutralize the air stuck in the lower part of the tract.  It does help, and it does help the "stuck" air to come back out.   It's just generally annoying.  I've had more juice since 1/6, then I can remember drinking in my life!  All this burping, and no soda to cause it.  I am sad.  hee hee

Anyway, for the next week, I'm to keep an eye on it, and if it continues, we'll need to do that barium test where you swallow barium, and they watch it go down, trying to find exactly where the problem is.  Not something to look forward to, but if it resolves the issue, fine with me.

So, the rules are as follows:  Valium - 1 every 6 hours (and yes this means even longer before I get to drive again).  Nordo - 1-2 every 4-6 hours = it has already been proven that this will remain at 2 every 4 hours, as weaning down to 1 every 4 hours simply did not work.

I have to admit.  I followed the rules today, and felt so much better.  Well, until tonight.  But that's another post.